Technology and the Myth of Social Media

Are you a digital native or a digital immigrant? If you did not have email, text messaging, or smartphones when you were young, you are a digital immigrant—someone who is new to the imposing processes of constant connectivity. If you have always had these technologies, you are a digital native—you are used to the connectivity and are a bit out of place without it.

Technology has taken over virtually every aspect of our lives. It seems that regardless of where I am,  someone, anyone, can contact me electronically—I can run, but I can’t hide. If you are less than 25 years old, you are likely ok with this. You tend to look at your phone every thirty seconds to check a Facebook, Twitter, email feed, or text message during face to face conversations failing to realize how off-putting it is to someone like, well, me.

We have long thought that technologies are causing us to lose human touch connections. However, I think just the opposite is true. Humans are social creatures, and we always will be. We are simply using other mediums to socialize.

Take Facebook for example. Without it, you actually must engage another human being in conversation that is physically in front of you with manners and etiquette. With it, you begin conversations with hundreds or thousands of acquaintances that are on your friends list. I liken Facebook to being in a gymnasium with everyone I have ever remotely known. We all have megaphones, and we are all shouting things like, “I just want to thank God because my hubby got up and let the dog out while I slept. I am so blessed!” or vague posts such as, “I am so disappointed in you. You people really need to grow up,” leaving me to wonder who you are talking to and then assuming that maybe it’s me—ick, the stress of it all.

There is also the problem of social media used in unlawful or unethical ways. We all know of someone, usually a child or predator, who has used social media to make someone else’s life miserable. They wrongly use the internet to humiliate, insult, or extort our children, and then leave parents and schools to pick up the pieces of a young and wrongly shattered life.

How does this happen? We parents allow it to happen, but how can we prevent it? Here are some things that will help: 1) Make a habit of going through your child’s phone. If they don’t like it, or if you catch them deleting text messages, take the privilege away—no excuses. 2) Insist that your household computers and tablets only be used in the most traveled room of your home (usually the kitchen or living room). Remember that when you let your child have internet capabilities in the privacy of their bedroom, you are letting them walk through the virtual door of God knows who. You wouldn’t let them walk into a random strangers home, so don’t allow them to enter virtual homes either. 3) Teach your child that if they are attacked online to ignore it. I know how hard this is, but trust me it is the only viable solution. 4) Remind them, and yourself, that we all leave digital footprints and that anything we post via the internet is forever and can be screen captured—do you really want a vicious response or risqué photo to reappear when you are applying for your dream job?  5) Know every password to every social media account your child uses—again, no excuses. 6) Talk to your child about the importance of tone when writing and discuss the importance of kindness.

Do I do this with my own children? You bet I do. They may not always like it, but to echo my parents, they have no choice in the matter.

I, at 42, am a digital immigrant; however, I am a willing victim of 21^st century technology. I have a blog, a Twitter account for my students and their parents, a seldom used Facebook account, and a     couple websites—if you can’t beat’em, join’em.  

How do you feel about this subject? Do you believe these technologies are hurting or helping us?